So, it's Sept 17th and I have yet to post any photos on our family blog of our summer adventures. EEEK! Every time I go to start, I either have a photo shoot to do, something to do with the boys or something football related ;) This morning, as Ben quietly plays and Jacob is still sleeping, I've decided to make a dent in the giant stack of photos that represents a blessed summer of family memories for which I am so thankful.
Do you ever get so busy with life that you don't stop to think about all the ways you're blessed and, instead, get bogged down in all the details of day to day life? I fall into that trap all of the time and, for me, a calm , peaceful and grateful heart comes primarily from two things: daily prayer & frequent journalling. I am such a verbal processor and, by writing things down, I am able to remember what's truly important and realize that the things I've been stressing about are small in comparison to those things that will matter for eternity, like my relationships - primarily my role as wife and mother but also as friend, daughter, daughter-in-law and sister-in-law. It's when I stop to pray and journal that I start to think about the weighty responsibility of parenting and it's only, when I am in prayer, that the desire to take this responsibility seriously and tackle it head-on starts to grow.
I've been having more of these moments lately. God has brought enough things into my life that have made me stop, slow down and come back to a place of prayer. Parenting has brought me to my knees a lot lately - namely, parenting an almost-3-year old who is too smart for his own good. As we look ahead to celebrating this amazing human being later on in October, daily I wonder how best to train him to be a little boy who loves the Lord. I've started reading 'Grace Based Parenting' and I'm trying hard to send my child out into the world with a desire to honor God born out of a real Love for the Lord and not born out of guilt. I'm trying so hard to allow myself the grace God offers so that I can pass that grace along to my children. I am constantly challenged by this huge task and constantly blessed by the seemingly unconditional love children offer at this age, even on the days where you don't feel like you're doing a good job as a parent- it's almost as though they extend that grace to you and, in their unconditional love, you can catch a glimpse of the love of the Father. Funny how that works.
So, what I'm trying to say is that, in between the family memories I'll share from our summer, there is a lot going on - a lot of trial-and-error parenting, a lot of frustrating moments, a lot of laughter, a lot of tears, a lot of early mornings with little patience for the toddler that wakes up wanting to play right away, a lot of puzzled looks by parents who realize their toddler has once again developed a new bad habit that we need to adapt to....But, even as I write this, as I verbally process our day-to-day life, I see the joy in all of those things, good and bad. I see the light in Jacob's eyes when he watches his brother, I see Jacob's bright smile even as his brother steamrolls his head, I hear Ben saying 'Mom, what a beautiful day,' I see my boys snuggling each other in bed while Jon reads them a story, I hear Ben saying 'Jacob and Jesus are friends because they're both babies,' I see the amazing imagination of my almost-3-year-old, I hear Ben singing 'I just called to say I love you' at the dinner table, I hear Ben saying 'Well, fanks' when I congratulate him on using the potty, I hear Ben saying 'I love you so much, with emphasis on the SO.'
I see and hear all of these things and, even though I know I'm a work in progress as a mother, wife, and friend, I know that 'He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.' I rest in that grace and hope and pray that, when others come in contact with me and my family, that they will see Christ in us and, through our lives, experience His grace. That would be amazing and make this whole, crazy adventure so worth while, don't you think?